sociology and whatnot
well it looked like the last introduce yourself thread was a little old so i'll introduce myself breifly (hi i'm a farmer-he mahi ai au, born and raised here and traveled around a fair peice. nearly worldly and a bit of a smelly bumpkin all at once - a gemini. esentially a radical gone hermit plantlover who likes to give spankings and dominate. nice smile. would love to meet that special someone.
The world is full of contradictions. And sometimes the things that seem in contradicrion are actually in harmony. I grew up with feminist values as a sub-standard to the norm, with a running analysis of the world shared with my mother and her strong- women friends -folks of the so called "second wave" of feminism. I've gotten some really negative response about bdsm from this crowd - yes they're kind of a pain in the ass but well, they're family... I'm too prone to nutshell explainations and don't want to try them on my aunties. but if we got into a serious conversation and got into all the liberatory aspects of power exchange and roleplaying and experimentation and what not, as i get to wrapping it up in such a conversation, i'll get to the community backup for all of these ideas and so, ah, what's the party line, eh gang? is this liberation or what? i want to bring a date to a party and not have to worry that either of us is being judged because of our self expressions. i want them to know i've grown up to be a feminist or whatever and not see it as a contradiction that i'll have that slut over my knee by the end of the night.
A submissive woman was brave enough to introduce me to her desires years ago and teach me about mine too. I try to honor her bravery in comming out and saying "hey i'd like to be tied up" by pointing it out to people. she had a together life of her own and did it with out a man's help but she looked for something different in her sex...
Anyhow I'd like to read more stuff on the mater... love short and sweet pomo discourse... get stoked on authors like michel foucault and pj proudhon. love to go meta and then back to soil science. Hope this group is good for some discussions and maybe more... will try to make the next munch.
Here is a come-back for
Here is a come-back for you... What is more liberated that owning your own sexuality? Roe V Wade has other implications, not just what stays or goes from the baby sack. It means (with lots of other laws) that a women owns the rights to her body and can choose what she does to it, with it, and for it.
With all the media sources tell us that, as women, our sexual self identity MUST be based on our looks and that our sexuality MUST be passive, isnt nice to know that some of us women are strong enough (and perhaps lucky enough) to be uppity. We can base our sexual self-indenity on our sexual urges and desires. We can be active in our sexuality, activly seeking the kind of sexual interaction/relationships/meaning that is fulfilling.
Perhaps you can point out how much courage it takes to be see as a sexual deviant (homosexual men havng been fighting this battle for about as long as second wave has been carrying the banner)? And perhaps you can point out that the submission doesnt fit into the madonna/whore model, well not enless you role play it that way...
In my experience, as a women involved in the "movement", being told that I am experiencing sex wrong and that, if it just put my mind to it, I can "get over" wanting it "that way" and be normal by other women makes me want to scream. Actually one of the reasons, one of the main reasons that I am not active in Fem activities anymore is the shunning I have received because I like a kind of sex that they think isnt politically correct. I really object to being told that my sexuality is merely a mirror of whatever man/men I am around, that, because i am a women, my sexuality is shaped primarily by male driven media and negative male interactions. I hate that other women think that they are so maluable mentally, genetically that one of thier most basic and primary of needs can be so easily over-written by a few movies and a bad date.
so that is my 26 cents..
This is two years late,
This is two years late, but...
I strongly recommend anything by Pat or Patrick Califia. Hir stuff goes out of print so fast, but "Macho Sluts" is still a classic. Zie also was instrumental in forming the Lesbian Sex Mafia, and their "Lesbian S&M Manual" was vital in establishing a lesbian bdsm scene.
I was introduced to bdsm through a feminist conference on bisexuality. Tensions rose so high there was a showdown at a panel discussion on bdsm. My opinion on the subject was completely changed by a woman who had been in a very abusive relationship and now found empowerment as a bottom/submissive.
Write back and we can discuss this further.
M.L.
just put in a request at a
just put in a request at a bookstore for _forbidden passages, writings banned in canada_. there was only one copy of macho sluts on their listing, for almost a hundred bucks!